Cars 1 Racer Battle Royale
Cars 1 Battle Royale. Which Cars 1 racer will come out on top? And who will miss out? Pinkie is there instead of Chick because Chick is participating in the Battle Royale. Transcript Spike: First of all before we start the Battle Royale we can only have 32 racers of 36. So four will miss out. The randomizer decides who. Ryan: Well. I hope I actually get a chance to do something this time unlike the elimination. Manny: Let's see. Spike: The four racers missing out are Misti Motorkrass, Davey Apex, Brush Curber and, oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no! I can't be seeing this. THE KING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Pinkie (sad): I AM SPEECHLESS! THE KING IS MISSING OUT! THE KING IS NOT GONNA PLAY BATTLE ROYALE I'M GONNA BAWL! (bawls) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Spike also bawls) The King: Guys guys. It's ok guys. In fact it would be nice to watch for once and relax. Lets just be happy Ryan Shields actually gets chosen by the randomizer. Ryan: Well that is one thing but according to Microsoft Windows 95 and Ruby Easy Oaks I placed last in Ruby's cars one elimination AND the figure eight! The King: Man I dont know what's up with you doing so bad in Ruby's series. Spike: At least Johnny Blamer is not missing out. Johnny (tears of joy): THANKS! Spike: Battle royale starts now. BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY BOYS AND GIRLS! LET'S GO BATTLE ROYALE WINNING AT FLORIDA 500 INTERNATIONAL SUPERSPEEDWAY!!! (later once they all land) Claude: I'M GONNA WIN THIS FOR YOU MY BELOVED MISTI!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Johnny: NO! NO! NO! I GOT A GRAY PISTOL! A FREAKING GRAY PISTOL!!! Winford: That's too bad Johnny! I got a green SMG! Kevin Racingtire: I got a blue AR! Johnny: Yes! Another chest! Maybe I can get a legendary from this (Johnny opens the chest) Johnny: WHAT! ANOTHER GRAY PISTOL!!! Ok maybe the next one is good. YES TWO CHESTS (opens one) ARE YOU KIDDING ME I HAVE THREE GRAY PISTOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spike: HOLY (Popeye toot)! POOR JOHNNY BLAMER!!!! Johnny: This chest better be got(opens it and soon starts to cry seeing what he got) HOW! WHY IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING I HAVE FOUR GRAY PISTOLS! I HAVE FOUR GOD (Popeye toot) FREAKING GRAY PISTOLS!!!!! I AM A MAGNET FACE NOOB IDIOT WHO LOST WITH ONLY GRAY PISTOLS! (Johnny gets shot and dies meaning he is last place) Johnny (bawling): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREW YOU GRAY PISTOLS!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGHAGHAGHAWHAWHAWHAAAAAAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! Spike: Well that's the end of the magnet face! Ralph: NO! I'm out! I did so well in the Cars 3 Battle Royale! COME ON! Sage: Crap! I'm out too! Lee: OH MY GOD I GOT SHOCKWAVE GRENADES!!! Chick: KACHICKA! A blue AR! (Chick kills Aiken and Kevin Racingtire) Pinkie: Chick Hicks kills two racers! Chick: THE CHICK ERA IN FORTNITE HAS JUST STARTED!!! Todd: Ryan sorry but I have to do this!!!! (kills Ryan) Ryan: UGH! You could have picked someone else to shoot! NO!!! NO!!!!! THIS SUCKS SO MUCH!!!!! (later two more racers die) Ruby: Oh looks like that is Chuck! Come on Shotgun.(tries to kill Chuck but gets shot) Chuck: Oh no it's Ruby! (shoot Ruby once and SOMEHOW kills him) Spike: WHAT! THIS IS ULTRA SAD! RUBY EASY OAKS OUT IN FREAKING TWENTY FOURTH PLACE! (Spike bawls along with Bob and Darrell. Pinkie, however, just cries.) Spike (crying): POOR RUBY EASY OAKS!!!! (sobs hard) The King: It's ok Spike. You're my friend. Ruby: Too bad for me I guess! I just did not have good guns! (Kevin Shiftright kills Ernie) (Chick kills Rusty) Chick: NO ONE MESSES WITH CHICK!!!!! HELL YEAH!!!! Eugene: ARE YOU KIDDING ME I DIED TO FALL DAMAGE!!!! Pinkie (stops crying): Eugene dies to fall damage! CHICK IS UNSTOPPABLE!! James: NOOOOOOOO I DIED!!!!!! At least I was not last! (Lightning kills Billy) Spike (stops bawling): FINALLY LIGHTNING MCQUEEN GETS HIS FIRST KILL! (later two more racers die) Floyd: YES I GOT A GOLD SCAR!! Ponchy: Yes! I got Shield Potions! Slider: A FREAKING HEAVY SHOTGUN LEGENDARY!!! (Floyd kills Greg) Greg: Oh no! Dirkson: CRAP! CRAP! I'M LOW ON HEALTH! (suddenly dies) Haul: Come on! (Kills Darren) Yes! Murray: OH NO IT'S CHICK HICKS!!! (gets low and dies) NO! (Dolphin censor) CHICK WILL WIN! Mac: I died! Nooooo! Floyd: YEAH! I GOT A HEAVY AR! (kills Ponchy) (Lightning kills Lee) Claude: WHO IS THROWING STINK GRENADES!!!! It's Crusty isn't it. (dies) Haul: I JUST KILLED CRUSTY! IT WAS INDEED CRUSTY WHO THREW THEM! Slider: COME ON I SHOT CHICK! YES HE ALMOST DEAD! YES! YES CHICK IS DEAD!!!! Chick: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCREW THIS (Popeye toot) (Seal Bark) CRAP!!! Spike: THIS IS IT! Five racers are left! We have Slider Petrolski with the legendary heavy shotgun! Also we have Floyd Mulvhill with lots of shield potions and a SCAR! Pinkie: We also have Haul Inngas with a Hand Cannon, Chuck Armstrong with a LEGENDARY SCOPED REVOLVER and last but not least LIGHTNING MCQUEEN WITH THE HEAVY ASSAULT RIFLE AND A ROCKET LAUNCHER!! Spike: Lightning did terrible in the Cars 3 battle royale in 19th! He is making sure he does not do bad and he has done really well! Chuck: NOOO I'M LOW! (killed by Slider) Spike: SLIDER KILLS CHUCK!! Lightning: I SEE HAUL! OH NO HE IS ATTACKING ME! (shoots him with a rocket and Haul shoots him too. They die at the same time) Spike: THEY BOTH DIED! LIGHTNING MCQUEEN IS THIRD THOUGH! Pinkie: THIS IS IT! SLIDER PETROLSKI vs FLOYD MULVHILL! WHO WILL IT BE! Spike: THEY ARE BOTH SHOOTING EACH OTHER! IT'S GONNA BE CLOSE (Slider shoots Floyd in the face and kills him) Slider: YES! YES! YES! I WON! I WON! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pinkie: SLIDER PETROLSKI WINS THE CARS 1 RACER BATTLE ROYALE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slider: (Dolphin Censor) YES!!!! The King: Nice! Lightning: Cool! Slider: I FREAKING WON A BATTLE ROYALE!!!! Spike: Well this is it for the Cars 1 Racer Battle Royale! Results 32. Johnny Blamer 31. Ralph Carlow 30. Sage Vanderspin 29. Aiken Axler 28. Kevin Racingtire 27. Ryan Shields 26. Manny Flywheel 25. Dale Earnhardt Jr 24. Ruby Oaks 23. Ernie Gearson 22. Rusty Cornfuel 21. Eugene Carbureski 20. Todd Marcus 19. James Cleanair 18. Billy Oilchangr 17. Winford Rutherford 16. Kevin Shiftright 15. Greg Candyman 14. Dirkson D'agostino 13. Darren Leadfoot 12. Murray Clutchburn 11. Mac Icar 10. Ponchy Wipeout 9. Lee Revkins 8. Claude Scruggs 7. Crusty Rotor 6. Chick Hicks 5. Chuck Armstrong 4. Haul Inngas 3. Lightning McQueen 2. Floyd Mulvhill # Slider Petrolski